Its time. Time that everyone hears our story Neil. I was just 2 years old, my baby brther Neil was just 10 months old. We lived with our mum and dad. Mum was a middle aged hoare who loved sex and abuse. Dad was an alcholic beater who had many skeletons in his closet as did mum. I only have two memories of my brother, one is where Neil and i were lying on the bed together happy and content. The other is the haunting memory of my baby brother being taken by ambulance to hospital were i never got to see him again. The first 18 yrs of my life were full of hate, abuse, and emptynes. When one day i found out the truth,MUM AND DAD KILLED NEIL AND I HAD BEEN BEATEN AND BROKEN BONES FROM YEARS OF ABUSE. When i was 19 i found Neil's resting place only to find out that no memorial was ever placed and that my dad infact had Neil cremated and only scattered half of Neils ashes and had hidden the other half in another grave. When i found out these details i started to have flash backs and have since found out that dad kidnapped me and took me to where Neil's ashes were hidden, i was only around 6 yrs old at this point. To this day i have never been able to find out where Neil's ashes are, when i close my eyes i can see every detail of the hidden site but were it is i may never know. Now im 34 and suffer from depression, i find it hard to hold down a job, i do not have any family, and friends are non existent. very day is a battle from the first second that i open my eyes until i finally sleep. NOW I HAVE JUST ONE WISH I have found out that i could be hypnotised and regressed back to when i was taken to Neil's resting place and finally set Neil's ashes to full rest, and maybe just maybe start to rebuild my life. Sadly this is just a dream as i have been told it would take many sessions as well as councilling and unless i had £20.000 noone could help as this is what it would cost. My dream came crashing down as there is no way i can ever raise this, no bank will lend it. What hurts the most is that i will never get to finally rest my brothers ashes or heal the damage i feel inside. Now its 2009 and i truly cant see any light at the end of the tunnel. Is there anyone out there that can help? is there anyone that knows an author that can help me write my story so that i can tell the world, and even raise the money to make my dream a reality?